


Back Room Feelings

by mentallyunstableqwq



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Background Relationships, Crack, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gamer Kozume Kenma, Gamer oc, Kozume Kenma Needs a Hug, Kozume Kenma is Bad at Feelings, Mutual Pining, Party, References to Arctic Monkeys, Smoking, afab character, kenma is a dumbass that moves on impulse, ouid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:21:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28246086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mentallyunstableqwq/pseuds/mentallyunstableqwq
Summary: All im saying is Kenma is a little shit and bad at dealing with his feelings,,, enjoy loves <3
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Original Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	1. Gamer Boy

Walking into the secluded bedroom I close the door behind me and let out a breath of relief before opening my eyes only to realize I'm not alone in the room, "Shit I'm sorry man-" I start turning around to leave before I hear a quiet 'wait'.

"Trying to get away from the party crowd?" The boy asks quietly, going back to his game.

I nod and let out a small laugh, "Yeah it's a little loud for my taste."

"I get it, I'm Kenma- wanna play?" He says holding out a controller.

Sitting down on the floor next to him I take the controller, "Thanks..I'm Ash." He's already focused on his building again, headphones covering one ear, "So...if this isn't really your scene, why are you even here?" I say as I finally start playing.

"Kuroo wanted me here. Pretty sure he just wanted to get wasted and needed me to drive him home but eh." He finishes with a shrug. I feel his stare burning into the side of my skull, "What about you hm? Why are you here?" I put my controller down, running my hands through my hair and slouching over.

"Just needed out of the house, I don't even think I know anyone here to be honest. I was just walking by and saw the lights..." I trailed off, not knowing how to finish the thought. My mind getting jumbled.

Before I know it my hands are shaking and my thoughts are mixed up, "Hey, are you...okay?" I hear the faint voice of Kenma in the background, filled with concern. "Should I...go get some one? Maybe Kuroo could help, he always helps me." I shake my head almost too fast.

"N-no I'm, I'm fine. Just overwhelmed." I feel his hand move to rest on my knee, making me look up only to see he's in front of me now.

He moves his hand up to my cheek, "Just breathe love, focus on my voice. You're gonna be alright I promise." I nod and close my eyes, trying to focus on what he said and calm myself down. "How about you try to breathe with me, yeah? Just follow my breathing, in and out. Good, you're doing perfect love." After a few minutes of dead silence and labored breathing I finally manage to calm down. Letting out a final deep breath. "Thanks, I'm sorry you had to deal with that." He lets out a breath and takes his hand off my cheek before shrugging lightly. Looking almost indifferent, although behind the stoic look in his eyes there's something else.

"Don't even worry about it, I'm just glad I was able to help. Do you need anything?" 

"Can we go get something to drink?"

"We?"

"I don't really wanna be alone right now."

He nods, "Then I won't leave your side." He stands up and extends a hand towards me. "Shall we my friend?" I laugh and take his hand, pulling myself up to my feet.

After we're both on our feet he cups both of my cheeks in his hands and kisses my forehead. "What was that for?"

"I don't know, I just felt like it." I stand there in shock for a second, "Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there like a blushing statue all night?" 

Coming back to reality I follow him out of the room, the bright and colorful lights a stark contrast to the previously dimly lit room we were in. 

I feel Kenma gently grab my hand, "Is this okay?" I nod and he smiles. Leading me around the crowded areas and into the kitchen. Seeing the counter tops lined with alcohol made both of us frown.

"Ah I know, my secret stash." He pulls me over to another door, opening it quietly. "Thank god- no ones out here." I sigh in relief and follow him outside. 

We walk over to the small mini fridge, "Pick whatever you want, its mainly Dr.Pepper though." Letting out a laugh I shake my head, "Hey its better than whatever you were gonna find in there." 

Grabbing a can I see Kenma setting up chairs, "Whatcha doing Ken?" He jumps slightly when I speak, "Sorry I- didn't mean to scare you.." "I just wanted to watch the stars, I don't really wanna deal with all the people. And it's stuffy inside that room." I open the drink and take a sip, nodding along.

Walking over to where Kenma set up the chairs I think for a moment before sitting down and closing my eyes, breathing in the cool night air. "How do you do it?" I blink my eyes open and look over.

"Do what? I'm not doing anything special."

"You just- inside you were freaking out. I was scared that I wasn't gonna be able to help you, but now here you are, just sitting here like the world is perfect. How?" I close my eyes again. 

"Special talent of mine I guess. I suppress everything until I can't anymore, then- well you saw earlier. Usually it's worse than that but it wasn't too bad this time." I still feel his gaze on me. "Don't tell me you're gonna be all sappy pudding head."

"PUDDING HEAD!" I burst out laughing, almost falling out of my seat. Tears gather in the corners of my eyes, "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN DAMNIT!?" He tries to keep an angry face before he loses it too, at least ten minutes have to have passed before we finally compose ourselves.

"The way your hairs dyed, you look like someone dumped pudding on your head." His mouth opens like a gaping fish.

"How dare you- I can't believe you would ever insult me like this- and here I thought we were best friends! God the betrayal!" We both bust out in fits of laughter once again. This time we do fall out of the chairs, landing in the soft grass, already covered with cold dew. 

After laughing for what seemed like forever, I roll over meeting my eyes with his. 

"I wanna stay like this forever Kenma." Redness quickly spreads across his pale skin, making its way to his ears. "I mean it, its fucking perfect. It's quiet, dark, and just you and me. Sorry if that's weird, I know we just met." 

A wide smile splits across his face, his hand makes its way to mine. Gripping it tightly, "No. It's not weird, I get it." He lets go of my hand, instead opting to put his on my cheek like he had before. I close my eyes and lean into the touch.

Before I even get the chance to say anything else, all trace of his touch is gone, replaced by chill of the night air making me open my eyes to see what was wrong. "Kenma?" I hear the voice say from the door, "Who's this?" I look over and see he's already in his seat, once again looking indifferent.

"Oh a new friend, Ash- this is Kuroo." I sit up off the grass and send a wave his way. 

"Well, it's nice meeting you, but hey Ken- we gotta get home." For a second Kenma looks at the ground, eyes clouded with mixed emotions.

"Can we take Ash with us? I mean I'm just dropping you off and heading home, I'll take them with me." Kuroo looks conflicted for a moment before shrugging.

"Sure I guess, they're your responsibility." Kenma nods and hops up, motioning for me to follow them out. 

As we get inside the party is finally winding down, alcohol gone from sight, replaced with jugs of water and Gatorade. The lights are back to normal and people are slowly filing out the door, winding around people picking up empty cups along with other trash off the floor. 

We make it to Kenmas car, Kuroo getting in the passenger seat, I make my way to the back.

The whole ride is filled with an awkward silence, no one dares to break the air that seems to settle over the car. After what seems like an eternity we arrive at Kuroos place, "Night Kenma, Ash." He waves and I send an awkward nod his way. 

Kuroo quickly shuts the door and jogs inside, "Well are you staying in the back or are you coming up here? Cause if you stay back there I'm picking the music." Laughing I walk around the car to the passenger door, sliding into the seat next to Kenma.

"Well, pick something." He says handing me his phone. Scrolling through his playlist I finally find a song. "Damn good taste ya dork." I roll my eyes and start quietly singing along. (a/n the song is Why'd you only call me when you're high by arctic monkeys) This time the car ride isn't awkward at all, its filled with both of us singing like idiots and Kenmas angelic laughter. It seems like no time at all passed when we pull up to Kenmas place. "Holy shit you live here-" "Don't bring it up. Yes I know 'wow impressive' but trust me, it's not something I care about. Okay?" I stiffly nod, following him up to the gate. He puts in a quick code and a door opens to the side of us, "Just go in there, its easier." After we finally make it inside Kenma flops onto the wrap around couch, "Make yourself at home new friend. Honestly you could be a serial killer but at this point I couldn't care less. I'm exhausted." I lay down on another part of the couch, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. "Honestly- if you're a serial killer just kill me. I don't mind." We both bust out into another fit of laughter. "You're so dumb pudding head." "I thought we were over that." He huffs out making me laugh even harder. After a few minutes and a few close calls of us falling off the couch, I hear quiet snores above me. I roll over, resting my chin on my hands. "You look like an angel." I say, brushing away the strands of hair that ended up over his eyes. Kissing his forehead I quietly roll back over, curling up into a ball, "Goodnight stranger." Letting the silence consume me, I finally fall asleep. Slowly I wake up, rubbing my eyes. "Kenma?" "Kitchen!" Getting up I shuffle my way to where I heard his voice coming from. Finally finding Kenma I see him slouched over the stove, "I thought maybe you died in your sleep, you were out like a light man." "What time is it?" "Almost noon, I'm making ramen if you want some." I let out a yawn, nodding and sitting down on one of the stools lining the counter.

"Why'd you offer to take me back here anyways? I'm damn near a stranger to you." He shakes his head slightly, turning as he finishes making the food.

"Not really sure to be honest. Just trusted you wouldn't hurt me i guess." He finishes with a shrug. I let out a soft laugh as he divides the food between two bowls and hands me one. Mumbling under his breath as he walks away. 

"What was that pudding head?" 

"O-oh nothing sorry..just thinking." He waves me off with a smile and makes his way to a seat.

We both make quick work of our food, soon setting our bowls in the sink and walking back to the living room, "So- Ash, what'd you wanna do? I'm not really good at coming up with stuff..that's usually Kuroos' job." I look around for a second before my eyes settle on the volleyball in the corner.

"You play?" His eyes grow wide as he shakes his head quickly. 

"No- its from highschool..I never really got into it but ya know- Kuroo wanted me there so..I stayed." I nod softly, honestly understanding how he felt. But I didn't like how controlling Kuroo was over his life.

"Why do you do everything he says? Its not like he owns you or something- unless he does then thats..definitely none of my business-" I said, my face quickly flushing at remembering that some people are into that. 

Kenma let out a loud laugh at my realization, clutching his stomach as he doubled over in laughter, "Trust me- its not like that!" He gasps out in between bouts of hysterical laughing.

My face darkens, "W-well I didn't know! Stop laughing at me!" He flicks tears away from his eyes as he slowly starts to calm down.

"No..we'd never date each other- and he's definitely not into stuff like that-" he laughs as he runs a hand through his ombre hair, "He's like majorly vanilla- which is besides the point- but uh..no I guess he's always just got me to put myself out there. I just kinda follow him." He sighs softly, again running a hand through his hair.

"Ah- I get that, and yeah- that's besides the point. Unless.." He turns around so fast I swear he gave himself whiplash.

"Unless what?!" Redness quickly covers his face, making its way up to the tips of his ears and down his neck. He pulls up the collar of his hoodie trying to hide the blush. 

Laughing softly at how easily he was flustered I shake my head, "Oh nothing. Just thinking." I say holding my hands up in surrender, using his own words against him. 

"Listen I'm not- thats not- I- shut up." He mumbles, blush getting darker than before. 

Scooting closer I pull his hands away from his hoodie, "What? Am I just getting too many things right? Ohmygod I just said that- I'm sorry." I jump back, not having realized that I actually said that out loud, "I'm so dumb- I- I am SO sorry Kenma. I should..I should leave." 

As I rush to get up I feel a hand encase my wrist, looking down I see Kenma holding onto my sleeve for dear life, "You didn't do anything- you realize that right? You can sit down.." He says in all seriousness. My mouth gapes like a fish, unable to process that he says I didn't do anything. How did I not? 

"You okay Ash? You look like you saw a ghost." I just shake my head and sit back down. 

"Yeah- I'm fine. Sorry- that was really weird, I'm practically a stranger talking about your kinks ohmygod that's so embarrassing." Its my turn to blush as he chuckles at how awkward I'm being.

"Eh, doesn't bother me. I'm an open book to be honest, anything you wanna know just ask I guess.." He shrugs and looks up at me through ombre hair, "So..anything you wanna ask?" He tilts his head in curiosity as he folds his hands in his lap.

My eyes flicker from his eyes to his hands and back up, "I- I mean..I guess- I'm curious, are you..into that?" I say almost a whisper, opting to look at the hardwood floors, too embarrassed to look in his eyes. 

"Never really tried it. Wouldn't be opposed." My eyes fly over to meet his once again, almost not being able to process what he just said. His hands twitch as if he wants to reach out for something but he's too nervous and just puts them back down. 

"O-oh..good to know I guess." I say letting out a nervous laugh, "I should um..probably get home, although to be honest I'm not really sure how to get there from here. 

"I uh- I could drop you off if you want.." I nod, walking over to where I ditched my shoes and coat the night before, quickly slipping everything on. 

"God I'm so dumb-" I whisper to myself as I watch Kenma grab his keys.


	2. God Why'd I Have to Fall For a Stranger

Sliding into the seat of Kenmas' car he hands me his phone as he had the night before, "Choose something dummy." He says looking over at me with a smile. 

Quickly choosing a random song I tell him my address, "Ah, not too far away. Damn- I wanted more time." He grips the wheel and backs out of the driveway, letting out a sigh he looks over at me again, "You care if we take a detour?" I look at him in confusion but shake my head and shrug.

He sighs heavily, looking around for something, "Ah there it is..finally." He smiles brightly and pulls into a small wooded parking lot, "Its a walking trail..I just wanted to talk.." 

"About what?" He grips the wheel tightly and looks away, "You can just say whatever you're thinking Ken- I'm definitely not in a position to judge." 

He sighs and closes his eyes, "Look. I don't- I'm not used to making friends and definitely not this easily, so please don't just ghost me cause you think things are gonna be awkward..they aren't." I look at him in shock, not knowing how to respond.

"I think that's the most words I've heard you say at once pudding head." He lets out a groan and leans against the steering wheel, "And you thought I'd let that go, never-" Kenma groans again before leaning over and grabbing something out of the door.

After a few seconds I realize it's a lighter, "You want a smoke? I don't usually share but I'll use this as a truce." 

Shrugging I let out a short laugh, "Yeah sure, why the hell not?" He smiles, pulling a joint out of his wallet. 

"Wait- what if we go back to my place first? I don't wanna have to drive while I'm high- plus I have food there." Grinning I nod my head.

"Honestly- that sounds fucking great...let's do it baby!" We both laugh as he starts the music again and pulls out of the parking spot, driving back the way we came. Straight back to his house.

We pull back into his driveway quickly making our way back inside, "So you want snacks? I have Dr.Pepper and chips- or we could make like some popcorn or something if you want.." 

"Whatever's fine, I don't really mind." He walks off to grab the food and I flop down onto the couch. As he walks back in, food and weed in hand I smile, "This is gonna be so much fun-" He smiles at my remark, sitting down next to me.

After setting up all the snacks he pulls out the lighter again smirking as he starts playing music and lights the joint. He closes his eyes and takes a hit, passing it over to me. I take a hit and hand it back letting the smoke out of my mouth as I already feel the effects setting in slightly.

Taking a deep breath I watch the smoke dissipate in the air and look over at Kenma who's already grabbing chips, "Hey Kenma," he hums in response taking another hit and looking over at me, "thanks for this..its nice to just relax." He smiles brightly and grabs his switch from the table.

"Wanna play?" I nod and he hands me a controller as he turns on the console, "Whatcha wanna play? What about minecraft like last night?" I shrug and take another hit, going to open a can of Dr.Pepper.

He selects the game and opens our world, already focused on his building yet again. I roll my eyes and admire him for a moment, the way he continuously flicks his hair out of his eyes. The way he rolls his lips between his teeth as he focuses, "Hey you okay? You're spaced out." Kenma says, tilting his head and looking over at me.

"O-oh yeah I'm fine! Just forgot what I was doing for a second I guess." He nods, grabbing his chips and continuing his building. 

After several hours he finally puts down his controller and stretches, yawning as he does so. I put mine down and do the same, standing up and pulling my hands over my head. Looking down I notice Kenma staring at me, "Ken? You good there?" He shakes himself out of his daze and looks up with a flushed face.

"Yeah sorry I didn't mean to stare.." He says, looking away almost ashamed. I look around, wrappers and empty soda cans strewn across the room and ashes all over the table, "Do we have to clean this up?" 

I roll my eyes, "Yes Kenma- we do. Now help me and get a trashbag." He groans loudly, walking off and coming back quickly with a big black bag.

We both get down on our hands and knees, picking up all the trash we can find. Setting my sights on a can I go to reach for it, only to be intercepted by Kenmas' hand on my wrist. I look up at him in surprise and see him staring straight at me. For a moment his eyes flicker slightly downwards before coming back up to meet mine, "K-kenma? You..okay?"

He jumps slightly at the sound of my voice before quickly retracting his hand and grabbing the can, throwing it in the bag almost violently. 

Kenma moves to stand up, taking the bag with him, "I don't know about you but I feel kinda gross right now- I think I'm gonna take a shower. I can show you the guest room if you want? Or you can do whatever its up to you.." He says shyly.

"Yeah please, that'd be nice." I say smiling, he smiles back and motions for me to follow him so I do. He leads the way up stairs and down a hall, guiding me to the last door.

"Well um..this is it. Make yourself at home if you want- I'll be right next door and the bathrooms down the hall..but uh- I'm gonna be in there so." He awkwardly puts his hand on the back of his neck and looks down at the floor, "Look Ash I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be all weird back there." 

"Oh don't worry about it..just um- go do your shower or whatever cause I think I wanna take one too if thats cool?" He looks taken back by my response, almost like he didnt expect me to be so casual. 

Without another word he walks to the bedroom next door and grabs his things quickly, walking down the hall to the bathroom and closing the door behind him. Letting out a deep breath I let my shoulders sag slightly as I close my eyes and shut the door, leaning against it, "What the hell was that about..I'm so dumb, 'go do your shower or whatever' so stupid!" 

Instead of moping against the door at my stupidity I decide to explore the room, the walls are painted a stormy gray, a large bed in the corner with matching sheets.

"Kid has good taste.." I flop down onto the bed and cover my eyes with my arm, letting out a groan of frustration I roll over and stare at the wall. Contemplating how fucking stupid I can be before he kicks me out. 

A sudden knock on the door pulls me out of my thoughts, "Hey Ash? Can I come in?" Running a hand down my face I walk over to the door, pulling it open to Kenma leaning on the doorframe. He's shirtless, small drops of water falling from his hair onto his chest and running down to the band of his sweats. Finally realizing that I've been staring for too long I look up to see him staring back at me, eyebrows raised, "What? Did I miss a spot or something?" He says with a smirk.

"Sh-shut up- I- just come in goddamnit!" my face flushes and he lets out a laugh before sliding in beside me and sitting down on the bed with his hands in his pockets, "Well..um- whats up?" Running a hand through his ombre hair he sighs quietly.

"Um- showers yours if you want it..or if you don't we could game some more. Or something, I don't really know how friends work." I let out a soft laugh and walk over, sitting next to him on the bed. 

As I sit down I notice how he tenses, "You okay Ken?" He blushes deeply and turns away before nodding. His hands clutch at his sweatpants tightly and he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.

Not sure what's wrong I put my hand on top of his, he tenses and pulls away before looking at me, "That's um..not a good idea." I frown and turn my head in confusion, "Just- fuck uh- I don't trust myself.." Still confused I just put my hand back on his, hearing him take in a sharp breath.

"I trust you Ken..I don't know why you don't trust yourself but I do. So you're fine." He closes his eyes tightly before turning to me, putting his hand on my cheek gently making my breath hitch.

Kenma runs his thumb over my cheekbone, "Ash- can I kiss you?" I gasp quietly, not expecting that from the quiet boy in front of me.

"Fuck oh my God I'm sorry!" Kenma pulls his hand away and stands up quickly, pacing back and forth shaking his head. Taking a breath I steel myself before standing up myself and walking towards him.

I grab his wrist and pull him to a stop making him look down at me in confusion, "Kenma.." I let go of his wrist and look away, any sense of confidence gone. He takes a step closer and puts his hand on my cheek, "Kiss me." His eyes widen slightly before pulling my face to his gently.

Pressing his lips against mine in a soft kiss Kenma gains confidence slightly, moving a hand to my waist and pulling me closer. The movement makes me gasp quietly and he takes this opportunity to snake his tongue into my mouth. He lets out a groan as he explores my mouth, gripping my hip tighter.

We pull apart with reluctance. I look up at Kenma and his eyes are slightly hooded, pupils blown wide. His face slightly flushed and lips parted and panting slightly, "Ash I-" I push a finger to his lips and shush him, shaking my head softly. 

"Thank you..that was- good-" Kenma chuckles softly as he nods, running his knuckles across my jaw and I lean into the touch. He leans forward and presses another kiss to my lips, a quick one before he moves to kiss down to my jawline, leaving a trail of gentle kisses across it. Moving quickly onto my neck, sucking harshly in spots before moving on and leaving wet kisses in his wake. 

I feel my breathing speed up and he must too, as he smiles against my skin making me shiver, "K-enma, I." He pushes a kiss against my lips to shush me, returning to my neck.

Letting out a soft sigh as he continues, I close my eyes and enjoy the gently touches from the ombre headed boy. After a while he pulls away, running his cool fingers across my heated skin making me hiss at the contrast in temperature.

In a daze he trails his fingers over my neck, tracing the marks he left behind, connecting them like constellations. Smiling to himself as he admires his work, "Sorry, I should've been more gentle..I just kinda got into the moment, sorry Ash." Kenma says as he rubs the back of his neck and I smile.

"Don't worry about it Ken- nothing I'm worried about." He smiles softly before standing up abruptly, almost making me fall off the bed.

"Sorry- I- I just remembered Kuroo is supposed to be here soon..we were gonna hang out tonight- shit shit shit!" He says, taking off next door, throwing on a loose fitting t shirt and successfully covering most of his skin and making me frown slightly. He notices my face and laughs before ruffling my hair gently, "Don't worry- its not gone forever dummy." 

I flush at his words before blanching at the realization that the marks he left are very much visible to anyone who happens to look at me, "Kenma- what's Kuroo gonna say about- ya know..this-" I say gesturing to the dark bruises forming on my neck.

Shrugging his slips his hands in his pockets, "If he asks I'll tell him. Simple as that." Blushing deeply I take a deep breath and nod as he walks out of the room, "Hey uh- if you wanna borrow some clothes to take a shower just grab some out of my room- I don't mind." Nodding again I follow him out, heading towards his room to get clothes as he makes his way downstairs.

Rummaging through drawers I quickly grab a t shirt and a pair of smaller sweats I was able to find before heading to the bathroom down the hall. 

As I enter the room, closing the door behind me I hear the door bell ring, "Ey Kenma!" I recognize the voice to be Kuroos', letting out a sigh I turn on the hot water, stepping in before giving it time to heat up properly and run my head under the water, drowning out the anxiety that runs through my veins.

"This is gonna be a long night."

**Author's Note:**

> okay so part of this chapter got really glitchy- paragraph breaks and stuff like that- but its whatever, it should definitely still make sense!


End file.
